When I first met Kelly, she and her husband, Greg, were literally driving to the attorney’s office to sign their divorce papers when they decided to stop at my office!
They were ready to end their marriage of 14 years. For some time. . . years actually. . . neither had been happy. There had been attempts to change, but things always fell apart. It had been years since either Kelly or Greg felt good about their relationship.
Threats and yelling were an almost everyday thing. They both desperately wanted to be accepted and loved, but neither felt it. The more each tried, it seemed the further they moved apart. They had tried therapy, self-help books, seminars. But nothing seemed to make a difference.
It seemed as if they were stuck in a vicious cycle. They knew they needed to change things in their relationship…but they just didn’t know how.
I’m not going to try and convince you that I was able to undo years of fighting, struggling and disappointment in a day. But, with what they learned in my office that day, they decided to put their impending divorce "on hold."
Last week, Kelly called to invite me to their anniversary and "re-commitment" ceremony!
They receive their training in traditional, individual therapy, and add marital counseling to their practice… after the fact.
And, when they do offer marital counseling, they are, usually, applying outdated, ineffective strategies that were never intended to help truly troubled marriages.
Why the best marriage counselors see a success rate of only 20%. . . if a medical procedure was that risky. . . it would be outlawed!
I know from experience, because I too was frustrated with such a low rate of success. I sincerely desired to help my clients to save their marriages. But, the techniques and strategies…